Everybody experiences going through good and bad moments, that’s just life. Even though we know that good and bad experiences are a fact of life it is still extremely troubling, distressing, unpleasant, unsettling, annoying and many more negative emotions we can feel when these difficult situations arise. It’s easy to tell someone going through a difficult situation to just relax and calm down, keep your chin up, not to worry as things will get better but, when you are the person in the difficult situation it’s alot harder to act on those words as you feel your life is spiralling out of control. So I wanted to write some ways that have personally helped me in the past to cope when life does take a turn for the worst and it doesn’t follow the expected course that I thought it might of. I wanted to write this as simple as possible so it’s a more easy read so I have chosen the 4 points which have helped me the most.
- Acceptance – Nature is always changing, nothing is ever stable and there is absolutely nothing we can do about the continual process of change. Knowing this slightly rings alarm bells in my mind for me as I dislike the feeling of being out of control (like many other people do aswell.) However, it’s important to accept and come to terms with events that are beyond our control and instead focus on the things that we can do that are within our control. Once we learn to do this it naturally brings us to a more positive mindset as we have accepted we can’t change everything but we can then focus our efforts on the things that we can change so we still hold some control over some situations in our lives.
- Take a Break and Pause – One of the most important tools that I have learnt when a bad situation arises is to not react impulsively to it. Controlling my reaction to events by taking a moment to reflect on the situation before making judgement helps me to think and view it more logically and from a calmer state of mind. For example: If somebody says a disapproving comment about you before getting upset, overthinking it or even defensive and angry about it consider whether it is true or false. If you note it as a true comment (even if how they said it didn’t come across in your best interest and came across more harshly) then they have just pointed out a flaw that you can now work on to address this. If it is a false comment then the one truly being undermined is them. The only way that their comment could cause you any harm is if you allow it to get you into a state of anger or provoke other negative emotions.
- Know Clearly What You Want – When people hear the word ‘success’ alot of people I’m sure will instantly think of wealth, fame or respect. But even people who achieve these things may also be far from satisfied…because with success comes pressure, living in a state of distraction constantly and also never being fully present in doing what we truly want.
- Embrace Difficult or Unpleasant Situations – If you really think about it in our lives having good experiences and situations ALL the time would be bad for us. How are we ever tested if we never experience difficulty? How can we ever develop courage and resilience? If we had never ending luxury and good fortune then it would make us lazy and ungrateful. So instead of asking yourself “Why do bad things always happen to me?” Remember that they do happen to everyone (just in different ways) and embrace the difficult or unpleasant situation instead as it gives us a chance to learn, grow and flourish.